yes i am haveing a baby

When I first met you
I knew you were the one
I had a crush on you ever since
You just didn't know about it

You became my close friend
We never had fights
And we never argued
We just had a laugh

When I first knew you had a crush on me
I was really surprised
But I still knew we were made for each other
Although we don't see each other

I knew why you liked me
In primary, you kept following me
In the canteen. at the playground
Even when I was hurt you still helped me

You have loads of qualities
I will say thank you to God for letting me have you
Because you're special
I have never met anyone like you before
 

 

 to angel

I feel so much inside,
So much for you,
You've hurt me so deeply,
The realization is still seeping through.

You left with unspoken words,
Guess you didn't know what to say,
I know you're going to be with her,
Baby you seem to be ok.

I don't think you ever loved me,
Still can't believe you lied,
It hurts too much to speak,
How did our worlds collide?

Can you tell me why?
So I can throw the hurt away,
I'm holding on to air,
All the words I didn't get to say.

I wanted to take you back,
But it just didn't feel right,
And now I deeply wish,
You were here to hold me tight.

We could've made it work,
But you were moving back,
And you didn't want to know,
After you tainted my world black.

Did you honestly really love me?
Did you ever really care?
It's hard for me to move on,
Knowing you're no longer there.

And I can't have you back,
No matter what I do,
No, I can't go back,
Ever go back to you.

 

to my ex nickolas jones

No one ever saw me
For who i  really am                                                                                                                                                        All they saw was my fake smile
my makeup and clothes

They never saw me without all that
Without makeup or clothes
You can see the dark circles under my eyes
my hidden scars and broken bones

i never stopped smiling
Because i knew
They would all see
What im going through

When i get home
i cut, i cry
There is nothing else i can do
Then what i doing now

i look in the mirror
Hate what i see
Blood and mascara
Dripping down to my feet

Now you know
Whats behind my door
Sadness and terror
i wish i was cared for

It happens everyday
i keep on living in pain
Behind my closed door
i suffer another day

I  once was the perfect daughter
who would do anything i had to..
But no one knew the pain i held
the smile that always fooled you...

my wrist is always covered up
with my pink bandana...
i hold this smile of pure gold
no matter what change in weather..

my wrist holds the scars and cuts
but i  always help others in pain..
i listened day after day of their problems
but still never once did i complain.

i knew as long as they were happy
then it didn't matter that i was dying..
Hiding myself from others alone
hidden in my room cold and crying.

i knew as along as they smiled
it didn't matter if i was in pain.
Cause i knew if they found out
then everything around me would change.

But all that seem to change that day
when i couldn't hold in my pain
Sitting outside crying to the world
the tears being washed away with rain.

i held my razor blade tightly
thinking of all the mistakes i made.
Knowing i was a failure in life
the agony inside never did fade.

i sliced my arms with a design
cutting I'm sorry on my red wrists.
Feeling weak i fell to my knees
as the ground hit my clenched fists.

my mother and father cried
because they couldn't find their baby girl.
Crying themselves to sleep at night
every thing's now crashed down their world.

i was still yet to be found
all that's left is a little note.
The black inked smeared
this is what i wrote.

"Dear mama and daddy
I'm afraid you'll never find me..
But don't worry I'll be alright
cause I know I'm finally free..

I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be there with you in your prayers..
Just because I'm not there beside you
it doesn't mean I'm not there..

I'm in a safe place now I promise
don't make finding me your world..
I love you always mama and daddy
forever I will be your baby girl.."

i lay there happy now
my wings shredded and torn..
The blood lays there wet and dripping
form the white lace dress i worn..

i knew it's what i had to do
the happiness in their lives i had to keep.
As i lay there secluded in a far place
dying in this world for i cut too deep.

	Dark red Trickles Trickles down my arm A special little secret Known as self harm Fiery red Anger Builds up deep inside  ive got to let these feelings out But to who can i confide Dark silver Blade Is the one that i trust The one that i turn to When life becomes too much Long white Sleeves To cover my pain Hide my relief Hide the cuts again

my knees start to shake

when ur in sight

my mind feels with wonder

my heart with fright

when will this feeling stop

when did it start

im so confused

i dont know what to do

i cant think straight

when my heart controls my mind

to my loving angel

who my feelings for

are big but shy

i love u so

and if u didn't love me

ID DIE.

by: beth
my angel
love of my life

how do you keep me here
wanting more
dreaming sweet dreams
never thought it be
that when i close my eyes
i see you
how your eyes look at me
searching for a glimpse of hope
hope that i'll confess my feelings
but feeling choked up on my words
feeling utterly paralyzd
stupidly

and yet i see you
wishing i can say the words within
wishing i can touch you in that certain way
the way that will let you know
i do love you too

and yet
stupidly
akwardly
paralyzd by you

i wish i knew
this spell you used to captivate me
and in it
live for eternity

its you
my angel
love of my life

This lie's become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear his name

Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For him are somehow gone

Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs

But last night when I saw him
For the first time since he left
My heart stopped for a moment...
I couldn't catch my breath

When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time...
I just can't let him go

to nick jones

I walk down the crowded halls
Nobody notices me.
I walk alone, book in hand
And nobody can see.
The pain I hold back
The cuts under my clothes.
The depression expressed
But nobody knows.
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

I'm labeled a freak
A total disgrace.
To human nature
I don't belong in this place.
Their words do sting
But not a word I say.
I just give in
Let them have it their way.
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

They talk about me
And they think I don't know.
How their cruel games
Of torment go.
I've seen the pain
They put people through
But there's nothing I can do.
After all,
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

My own family disapproves
Of the way I am.
To them I'm wrong
And forever damned.
I have no one to turn to
No one to care.
No one to stop the pain
Because no one is there.
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

My friends don't know
And I won't tell.
How I must live
In this daily hell.
They see me smile
They don't know that it's fake.
But they can't see
how my heart just wants to break.
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

I hate to be hurt
Yet I cause myself pain.
I cut myself daily
They think I'm insane.
They think I have no emotion
I'm just hollow inside.
But I do feel
I'd just rather hide.
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

What's the point
In showing how you feel?
It just ends up in a heartbreak
It always will.
And who could ever love
Somebody like me?
An emo girl,
A nobody?
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

But there is one boy
He holds my heart.
He picked me up
When I fell apart.
He promised he loved me
I believe that it's true.
Something is holding me back
I'm not sure what to do?
To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

I'm of no importance.
I feel nothing.
I'm a pushover.
I'm just another emo kid.

To them...
I'm just a shadow of greater people.
I'm just a nobody.
A reflection shattered.

To them...
I'm just another emo kid.

In the End

I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to say,
But there's one thing I know baby,
I just can't live this way

Everytime I looked in you eyes,
I felt a shiver down my spine,
And that smile that played upon your lips used to melt my heart,
from then on, I thought of you as mine

I wanted it all to last forver,
you and me,
But I know that everything has to end at some point,
I thought that we would be different,
Was kinda nieve

I should've listened to reasoning,
when I was told not to go on,
And that this relationship shouldn't continue,
as I would only get hurt in the end,
Got rejected, got hurt,
My heart is finally on the mend,
I'm never letting someone get that close again.

AND TRUST ME SHE HASNT EVER1 HATES HER

Tik-Toc
What is life without fear?
A life in ignorance or perhaps joy?
For is life without fear a life without Love?
For without fear of loss are you capable to treasure the fragile blossom that is love?
And without love is life truly worth living?
Because in the end all we have are Friends,
Love,
And the taunting tik-toc of the clock. -

Forever And A Day

I prayed you would stay,
You went away,
Now I’ll wait here for you,
For forever and a day

Life
F*ck Life Its not the way i want it
I wanted it to be all black flowers and dead plants
I feel dead I Feel black I Feel Depressed
F*ck Life I hate it whats wrong with me
I hate Life I think It should all be black and dead
F*ck life thats what I say and that is what I think Life
Is Sh*t And it should be dead Death comes once and I'll never forget my Death and How it happened
I just hated myself and started cuting away the flesh
I was okay but i never bleed I feel Death and Black
I hate Life Somebody Help me get over this Sh*t Which goes
Through my head just Feel Death and your there in the grave yard and dead
F*ck Life its Sh*t

Stop throwing shots at my head
I'm the only one that knows i'm dead

All these cuts on my skin
Don't mean anything

Deep red silts
On pale pink wrists
Drip with anger and loneliness

Blackened tears fall from my red eyes
Carrying all your abuse and lies

Maybe if you'd had stopped to think
What made those scissors sink

You could have saved us both
By stopping me from taking that extra dose

I was standing on that rocky ledge
But you were the one to push me of the edge

You're now invited to my wake
But please don't make that same mistake.

Well.. thats it.

this is also to my parents mostly my mom

Each time you yell at me,

I use my razor.

To feel the cold blade on my skin,

To see the razor running,

cutting my skin,

Blood Driping.

It does not even hurt anymore,

because i'm so numb,

I Can't Feel it,and i can't feel

you anymore...

this is to my parents

Looking in the mirror

I see a girl

With a lonely face

Wishing for someone

To take her place

Looking in the mirror

I see a girl

Full of pain and distrust

I see the girl

With a strain

That no one else must

She wears a smile

So no one knows

How close

Her lonely exile follows

he says he loves me,

more than ill ever know

he says it when i need to hear it

but the truth behind it im not sure is there

eventhough i long for his touch

when im around him i don't feel the same as i do now

yes i love him with all my life

but now ive moved on

found someone so grand

my dark angel sent to wacth over me

but something i feel is missing

when ever he is gone i miss him

when hes here i hate him

is he just a phase

or am i the one in a daze

is he the one for me

or is it just greif

he says there is no 1 else

but the messages disagree

how could i be so blind and fall in love......

with you

 

this one is for my ex nick jones

i met this guy hes so grand

he is what they say he is

he is an angel 

my dark angel sent down to watch over me

hes half way a state away,

and i trust him with my life

my heart my tears my everything

never knew i could fall in luv with a guy so sweet

nor he feel the same about me,

this heart of mine  is racing through thoughts ive never felt before

some say its just a phase

others say its not

all these emotions swirling around inside me

he makes me feel like i can do anything

who thought a complete stranger could steal a heart?

what is this that i feel?

luv .